


Letting Go

by DaronwyK



Series: What if... HP Drabbles & Short Stories [25]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas fic, Gen, HP: EWE, Past Relationship(s), letting go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 19:38:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14362215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaronwyK/pseuds/DaronwyK
Summary: On the Christmas after Voldemort's defeat, Severus visits the grave of his lost love.





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> Little Christmas One-Shot

o.o.O.o.o

**_ Be Strong Enough to Let Go _ **

**_ And Patient Enough to Wait f _ ** **_ or What You Deserve  _ **

**_ ~Anonymous _ **

o.o.O.o.o

 

Severus entered the silent cemetery, just a shadow slipping amongst the drifts of snow and marble monuments. The icy wind cut through him, but he ignored it, choosing instead to focus on his destination. Determined to avenge Lily’s murder and save her son, Severus had never intended to survive the Final Battle. That he had was something of a minor miracle, one he could attribute to the most insufferable know-it-all he’d ever had the privilege of knowing. Hermione Granger had snatched him from the jaws of death and rallied what felt like the whole world to save him from Azkaban.

A part of his brain was still in shock that he was finally free. Free of Tom Riddle and his endless cruelty, and free of Albus’ never ending games. He felt adrift, lost in a sea of possibility. Kingsley was the new interim Minister of Magic, and had awarded him an Order of Merlin for his many sacrifices, first class no less. He’d stood beside Potter and Miss Granger last night to receive their awards. They were the only three to receive the highest honour the wizarding community had to offer. The Weasleys, Minerva, and other combatants from the Battle of Hogwarts had all been awarded the white ribbon that signified a 2 nd class Order of Merlin. The distinction had caused some tension between the Golden Trio, but after a review of all the memories and events, Kingsley had decided that Mr. Potter, Miss Granger, and Severus were the ones that best met the criteria for the award. 

He’d escaped the Ministry Christmas Ball just in time to complete his yearly ritual. For the last seventeen years, the early hours of December 25 th found him here, on his knees before a white marble monument. Severus reached out and brushed the snow off her name, fingertips tracing the letters with reverence. Each visit to this place had reminded him of his failures, of his mistakes, and how much he missed her. Lily had been the only light in his life for as long as he could remember, the only thing outside of his books and potions that he cared for. While he’d devoted his life to protecting the Potter boy…it had only ever been for her sake. Potter had always looked too much like his father for Severus to ever feel anything for him beyond obligation.

A subtle wave of his hand conjured a spray of vibrant red lilies, her favourites. He knew that this was the last Christmas he would spend here. Moving forward with his life meant finally letting go, and starting to forgive himself. Strangely enough it had been Potter who’d triggered this revelation. After days of testimony by dozens of witches and wizards, Potter had taken the stand in defence of his former Potions Master.

__

_ “This body has already pardoned dozens of Death Eaters who could prove that they were marked under duress, or as under-aged wizards. Severus Snape was marked when he was only sixteen years old, mere days after the tragic murder of his mother. He made a single mistake, and has spent the rest of his life paying for it. He was willing to lay down his life for me, the son of a man who tormented him when they were boys. If there is a greater statement about the integrity of his character, I can’t think of it. If you do anything less than grant him a full pardon for all his actions during the war…none of you deserve to be sitting here today. Severus Snape is a hero, and the bravest man I have ever known. He owes nothing to any of us, and he deserves to have the freedom to live a life of his choosing.” _

“He may look like his father Lily, but your son is more like you than I ever let myself see,” he whispered softly. A light snow was starting to fall around them. “You will always be important to me, but it’s time to say goodbye. I prayed so often for forgiveness, something I thought I could never have in this life…but I realize now that it was something I needed to first give myself. You were my first friend, my first love, and the one thing I could never accept losing. I kept my promise: your son is alive and the Dark Lord is well and truly gone. Happy Christmas, Lil.” Severus stood and leaned down, pressing a kiss against the cool marble. “Goodbye, my beautiful friend. I will remember you, always.”

They say that the hardest thing in life is letting go, but Severus had made a life out of difficult actions. As he passed the gate of the cemetery for the last time, a weight lifted from his shoulders and from his heart. The ghosts of his past finally banished, he disapparated away, intending to spend this Christmas and all the ones to come in the company of the living.

~Fin~


End file.
